The Virgin Diaries. Part 1 [Jon/Guy]
Mar. 3rd, 2005 07:46 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
palace_jonDuring which Jon decides he’s waited long enough and Guy decides he can damned well wait a little longer!
Taking a deep breath, Jon looked at himself in the mirror again and tried to steady his nerves. His hands were shaking and so he stuffed them in the pockets of the trousers he'd received for Christmas, the matching jacket to which was presently lying over the back of the chair waiting for him to put it on.
He checked his hair. Neat. He checked his clothes. All tucked in. He checked his keys, his wallet, his booking card. All present and accounted for. Lastly, he checked for his libido, but it was no where in evidence. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all?
Oh, come on, Jon, he chided himself. It's only sex!
Yeah, right.
First time and with a complete stranger!
If only Guy hadn't been so busy, or Jude. But Jude was away and Guy was working hard, he’d not seen either of them for ages, and it would be incredibly rude of Jon to expect either of his friends to drop what they were doing just because he'd decided that now was the time to . . . Oh God, he was going to hyperventilate if he kept this up!
Jon slid the jacket on quickly and headed out the door, off to the Public Rooms and the booking which had eaten away most of his savings.
Guy lay on his stomach on the bed, idly kicking his heels, waiting for Jon to show up, grateful that he'd actually gotten his lazy arse out of bed in time to get breakfast at the cafe for once. Pete from booking's had shown up, full of gossip as usual, including the choice bit that the priest was about to lose his cherry and had booked a room in Public for that afternoon. Past the initial 'what the bloody fuck is he thinking!' phase, Guy had checked the schedule, shown up forty-fucking-five minutes early to make sure he got there before either of 'em, and run Colin off. 'Course, he hadn't been entirely pleased about it, but it was about time this Level Two business became useful, and what was a promotion for if not intimidating and bullying your co-workers!
Another deep, hopefully steadying breath and Jon raised his hand to knock on the door. He need not really have bothered, as his fingers were shaking so hard, he could have knocked simply by touching the door.
Losing your virginity was apparently not as simple as he'd thought and the funny looks he'd received at Reception hadn't helped any, nor had the sight of two of the reception girls giggling behind their hands as he'd walked away. His face was still red and he just knew he was going to stammer or trip or somesuch.
Here we go...
"Come on in," Guy purred, lowering his voice about an octave in disguise.
Jon swallowed, pushed open the door and walked in as confidently as he could manage, turning to close the door quietly behind him. It was a mistake because the sun was shining through the corridor skylights and when he turned back, the room was even dimmer than before.
He took a step forward, his new shoes slipping on the carpet and got tangled in a rug. He stumbled forward and only just managed to catch himself by grabbing for a chair. Straightening up, he pushed back his hair and smiled at the, well, outline on the bed.
"Hello." he said nervously. "I'm Jon. Nice to meet you."
"Hey, beautiful," Guy said, dropping back into his normal voice. "Long way from the coat check, arentcha?"
Jon froze. He knew that . . . He took a step closer, his vision finally settling and his eyes widened in shock! "Guy? Guy!"
A brilliant smile cut across his face and his fists uncurled, nerves washing away as if they had never been. "You have no idea how glad I am to see you!" he told him, oblivious. "I thought you were . . . " His voice trailed off, finally registering the look he was getting from his friend. "Guy?"
"You thought I was some cunting stranger that you paid a bloody fuck load of money that you can scarcely afford to deflower you, even though very obviously the idea of that fuckin' terrifies you. Jesusfuck, Jon, is that what you wanted for your first time? Some random god damned kid in Public?" Guy shook his head, not remotely monitoring his cursing as he usually did around Jon, rolling off the bed and standing up. "C'mon- this is gonna become a conversation which requires alcohol of some kind, I can just tell. You want the pub, or back to mine?"
"I . . . I . . . What? No? Wait!" Angry tears sprang to Jon's eyes and the stubborn side of his nature kicked in. "Guy!" he cried out, grabbing at the other man's arm. "I can't! I . . . Well, I won't!" he said, folding his arms across his chest and looking mulish. He didn't notice the colorful language or even really register the intent behind Guy's words, all he knew was confusion and he was reacting on instinct, not sense.
Guy paused and looked at Jon, sighing loudly. "Jon- c'mon, mate. This is your first time having sex you're talking about here, not pulling off a bandaid. This isn't something you should just do quick and get it over with- especially not when you've got as much invested in the reason why you kept yourself-- shitfuck, what's the word-- chaste- why you kept yourself chaste all those years."
Jon blinked. "But I paid." he said quite calmly. "That money is not going to waste!" He was quite adamant about it. Finding Guy here had pleased him, but then he'd been yelled at and now, bewildered, he was holding on tight to the one single thought he could make sense out of the maelstrom swirling in his head. It wasn't necessarily the right one, but it was all he could manage and he was clinging for all he was worth. He stalked over and sat down abruptly on the side of the bed to emphasize his point.
"Oh lord- who will save me from this capitalist priest," Guy murmured, resisting the urge to smack himself upside the head. "Okay, Jon? Point one- should you and I ever chose to fuck- it's not gonna be because you laid down cash. We're mates, yeah? I don't charge me mates for sex. And second, the session didn't take place, so you're not getting charged. People cancel client sessions... or in this case, have them cancelled for them. You're not out the cash."
"I . . . Oh. I won't?" To Jon's consternation the tears returned, this time however, they were tears of relief and he could not stop them from falling. "Oh." he said, surprised. "I am sorry." To his horror, he began to sob and he scrambled for a handkerchief, realizing too late he'd forgotten to include one. "Oh dear." he sniffed. "Oh dear."
"Aw, hell," Guy said sympathetically, grabbing one of the soft towels from beside the bed and bringing it over to Jon. "I'm sorry, mate- I didn't mean to make you cry."
Jon accepted the offering and the kind words. "S'allright." he sniffed. "I'm just overwrought." He wiped his eyes and handed back the towel with a polite, 'thank you' and then sat, arms resting on his thighs, staring at the carpet. "I can't do anything right." he muttered, still sniffling a little.
"Oh c'mon now- don't be like that," Guy said, grimacing at the towel and setting it aside. "Lets talk about this, yeah? So- you've decided that you want to fuck-- you booked a fella, so is that indicating preference, or did you just ask 'em to book the first person on the list?"
"I don't like girls." Jon was still staring determinedly at the carpet, embarrassed now and unable to look Guy in the face. "They're nice, but not . . ." he shrugged his shoulders. "And I just want to get it over with!" he went on, a certain amount of the earlier stubbornness still present in the words. "I'm tired of being the only virgin in the building!"
Guy quashed the urge to laugh, knowing how deeply he'd hurt Jon if he did. "Jon, you're not the only virgin in the building. There are libertine's who haven't tested yet, and any number of just regular people who haven't gotten there yet. There's even this one bloke- new libertine, not on the books yet, but he had his auction in the fall, and he was way older then you- past forty even and he still hadn't lost his. It's not something you want to just do with just anyone, is it?"
"Well, I feel like I am!" Jon insisted. “And everyone else behaves as if I am.” he added, thinking of the giggling girls at Reception. "But no," he admitted, his ire slowly fading and his voice softening to a near-whisper. "I wanted . . . But . . ." He stood up as abruptly as he'd sat down, still not willing to look Guy in the face. "Oh, never mind." he said. "Let's get out of here, eh? Go to the pub and get, umm . . . shit-faced!"
Oh bugger. Jon swore. This is not fucking good. Don't you dare laugh, you cunt. "Uh uh. No shit-faced- not yet. C'mere and sit down again- please?" Guy patted the space next to him.
Jon shook his head, but did as asked, eventually. He scuffed his feet on the carpet a few times, glanced toward the door with something akin to longing in his eyes, but he sat. "Should just get that over with, too!" he said. "Let them laugh at me some more and be done with it."
"Jon- I'm not laughing at you. I haven't laughed at you once. This is serious to you, so it's serious to me. C'mon now- say what you were gonna say. What did you want?" Guy said gently, reaching for Jon's hand and giving it a squeeze.
"No, but everyone else will!" Jon realized belatedly how childish that sounded. "Sorry. Just . . ." He folded his hand over the top of Guy's and finally looked right at him, his expression wistful. "I wanted you to . . . Or Jude. But you're busy and he's not here and . . . Oh Guy, I am so tired of waiting!" The tears threatened again and to hide them, he buried his head in the curve of Guy's shoulder.
Guy wrapped his arms around Jon, rubbing his back soothingly. "Jon, I know I've been busy. And I'm sorry about that. But you're my friend, and there is no way I wouldn't make time for something like this for you. And Jude, yeah he's been gone. But he'll be back soon- anytime now, I'm sure. And however you want to do this, I can guarantee you that either of us would be more then happy to be there for you."
"I’m just so . . ." Jon folded into the gentle touch. "It's just become such an event in my mind, I can't seem to think about anything else!" he complained. "It was getting to the point where I didn't care about special anymore. I'm sorry." He let out a breath in a huff, blowing a stray strand of fringe from his nose.
"Well, it was this big huge thing you were never gonna do, and now it's this thing that you are gonna do, but you still haven't done it, so it's hanging over your shoulders. Because, until you have sex, you've not moved past the vow really, have you? Not completely. So, you're putting a lot on this one moment, and once it's passed, you can move on with the next phase of your life." Guy theorized, not entirely sure he wasn't just fishing something out of his arse here.
"You're right." Jon nodded, nuzzling further into the side of Guy's throat and inhaling his scent happily. "It's just looming over me and I became too anxious about it. I'll try harder, honestly. I'll . . . dial it back." He kissed the soft spot behind Guy's ear, smiling with pleasure at remembering the vernacular.
"Good. But don't try harder- lord, the last thing you need to do is put more effort into this. Just relax. You want me, we can do that. You want Jude, he'd be there. There doesn't have to be any panic or drama or rush. Okay?"
"Okay." Jon shifted in a tad closer, his fingers kneading gently at Guy's upper thigh.
Guy's eyes drifted down to the fingers on his thigh, then back up again to Jon's face. "Jon... this has been a bit of an intense afternoon I think. Lot of emotion type things on both sides... y'ever hear of makeup sex? I'm thinkin' we don't combine that with first time sex. So what say we go have a beer or five- maybe only two for you- and we can just ... relax. How's that sound?"
"Okay."
"Okay." A few moments went by while Guy waited. "Jon... I can't get up if you're still lickin' my ear and pawing at my thigh, mate."
"Oka . . . What? I mean, pardon?" Jon straightened up, realized what he'd been doing and flushed. But he managed a grin and a rueful, "See?" before he got to his feet.
"There ya go. So- shit-faced?"
"Oh! Yes. Shit-faced. Right. Let's." Crisis over, Jon was enthused by the idea of some time in Guy's company, something he'd not had much of lately. He almost raced to the door, stopping with his fingers wrapped around the handle to say in an earnest fashion, "I'll wait. For you and Jude, yes? And I promise not to stress about it. At least, I'll try."
"Okay then. We wait, and we try not to stress." For me and Jude- does he mean he wants... DAMN! Religious doesn't go halfway, does he Guy thought to himself, shaking his head and smiling as they walked out the door.
Taking a deep breath, Jon looked at himself in the mirror again and tried to steady his nerves. His hands were shaking and so he stuffed them in the pockets of the trousers he'd received for Christmas, the matching jacket to which was presently lying over the back of the chair waiting for him to put it on.
He checked his hair. Neat. He checked his clothes. All tucked in. He checked his keys, his wallet, his booking card. All present and accounted for. Lastly, he checked for his libido, but it was no where in evidence. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all?
Oh, come on, Jon, he chided himself. It's only sex!
Yeah, right.
First time and with a complete stranger!
If only Guy hadn't been so busy, or Jude. But Jude was away and Guy was working hard, he’d not seen either of them for ages, and it would be incredibly rude of Jon to expect either of his friends to drop what they were doing just because he'd decided that now was the time to . . . Oh God, he was going to hyperventilate if he kept this up!
Jon slid the jacket on quickly and headed out the door, off to the Public Rooms and the booking which had eaten away most of his savings.
Guy lay on his stomach on the bed, idly kicking his heels, waiting for Jon to show up, grateful that he'd actually gotten his lazy arse out of bed in time to get breakfast at the cafe for once. Pete from booking's had shown up, full of gossip as usual, including the choice bit that the priest was about to lose his cherry and had booked a room in Public for that afternoon. Past the initial 'what the bloody fuck is he thinking!' phase, Guy had checked the schedule, shown up forty-fucking-five minutes early to make sure he got there before either of 'em, and run Colin off. 'Course, he hadn't been entirely pleased about it, but it was about time this Level Two business became useful, and what was a promotion for if not intimidating and bullying your co-workers!
Another deep, hopefully steadying breath and Jon raised his hand to knock on the door. He need not really have bothered, as his fingers were shaking so hard, he could have knocked simply by touching the door.
Losing your virginity was apparently not as simple as he'd thought and the funny looks he'd received at Reception hadn't helped any, nor had the sight of two of the reception girls giggling behind their hands as he'd walked away. His face was still red and he just knew he was going to stammer or trip or somesuch.
Here we go...
"Come on in," Guy purred, lowering his voice about an octave in disguise.
Jon swallowed, pushed open the door and walked in as confidently as he could manage, turning to close the door quietly behind him. It was a mistake because the sun was shining through the corridor skylights and when he turned back, the room was even dimmer than before.
He took a step forward, his new shoes slipping on the carpet and got tangled in a rug. He stumbled forward and only just managed to catch himself by grabbing for a chair. Straightening up, he pushed back his hair and smiled at the, well, outline on the bed.
"Hello." he said nervously. "I'm Jon. Nice to meet you."
"Hey, beautiful," Guy said, dropping back into his normal voice. "Long way from the coat check, arentcha?"
Jon froze. He knew that . . . He took a step closer, his vision finally settling and his eyes widened in shock! "Guy? Guy!"
A brilliant smile cut across his face and his fists uncurled, nerves washing away as if they had never been. "You have no idea how glad I am to see you!" he told him, oblivious. "I thought you were . . . " His voice trailed off, finally registering the look he was getting from his friend. "Guy?"
"You thought I was some cunting stranger that you paid a bloody fuck load of money that you can scarcely afford to deflower you, even though very obviously the idea of that fuckin' terrifies you. Jesusfuck, Jon, is that what you wanted for your first time? Some random god damned kid in Public?" Guy shook his head, not remotely monitoring his cursing as he usually did around Jon, rolling off the bed and standing up. "C'mon- this is gonna become a conversation which requires alcohol of some kind, I can just tell. You want the pub, or back to mine?"
"I . . . I . . . What? No? Wait!" Angry tears sprang to Jon's eyes and the stubborn side of his nature kicked in. "Guy!" he cried out, grabbing at the other man's arm. "I can't! I . . . Well, I won't!" he said, folding his arms across his chest and looking mulish. He didn't notice the colorful language or even really register the intent behind Guy's words, all he knew was confusion and he was reacting on instinct, not sense.
Guy paused and looked at Jon, sighing loudly. "Jon- c'mon, mate. This is your first time having sex you're talking about here, not pulling off a bandaid. This isn't something you should just do quick and get it over with- especially not when you've got as much invested in the reason why you kept yourself-- shitfuck, what's the word-- chaste- why you kept yourself chaste all those years."
Jon blinked. "But I paid." he said quite calmly. "That money is not going to waste!" He was quite adamant about it. Finding Guy here had pleased him, but then he'd been yelled at and now, bewildered, he was holding on tight to the one single thought he could make sense out of the maelstrom swirling in his head. It wasn't necessarily the right one, but it was all he could manage and he was clinging for all he was worth. He stalked over and sat down abruptly on the side of the bed to emphasize his point.
"Oh lord- who will save me from this capitalist priest," Guy murmured, resisting the urge to smack himself upside the head. "Okay, Jon? Point one- should you and I ever chose to fuck- it's not gonna be because you laid down cash. We're mates, yeah? I don't charge me mates for sex. And second, the session didn't take place, so you're not getting charged. People cancel client sessions... or in this case, have them cancelled for them. You're not out the cash."
"I . . . Oh. I won't?" To Jon's consternation the tears returned, this time however, they were tears of relief and he could not stop them from falling. "Oh." he said, surprised. "I am sorry." To his horror, he began to sob and he scrambled for a handkerchief, realizing too late he'd forgotten to include one. "Oh dear." he sniffed. "Oh dear."
"Aw, hell," Guy said sympathetically, grabbing one of the soft towels from beside the bed and bringing it over to Jon. "I'm sorry, mate- I didn't mean to make you cry."
Jon accepted the offering and the kind words. "S'allright." he sniffed. "I'm just overwrought." He wiped his eyes and handed back the towel with a polite, 'thank you' and then sat, arms resting on his thighs, staring at the carpet. "I can't do anything right." he muttered, still sniffling a little.
"Oh c'mon now- don't be like that," Guy said, grimacing at the towel and setting it aside. "Lets talk about this, yeah? So- you've decided that you want to fuck-- you booked a fella, so is that indicating preference, or did you just ask 'em to book the first person on the list?"
"I don't like girls." Jon was still staring determinedly at the carpet, embarrassed now and unable to look Guy in the face. "They're nice, but not . . ." he shrugged his shoulders. "And I just want to get it over with!" he went on, a certain amount of the earlier stubbornness still present in the words. "I'm tired of being the only virgin in the building!"
Guy quashed the urge to laugh, knowing how deeply he'd hurt Jon if he did. "Jon, you're not the only virgin in the building. There are libertine's who haven't tested yet, and any number of just regular people who haven't gotten there yet. There's even this one bloke- new libertine, not on the books yet, but he had his auction in the fall, and he was way older then you- past forty even and he still hadn't lost his. It's not something you want to just do with just anyone, is it?"
"Well, I feel like I am!" Jon insisted. “And everyone else behaves as if I am.” he added, thinking of the giggling girls at Reception. "But no," he admitted, his ire slowly fading and his voice softening to a near-whisper. "I wanted . . . But . . ." He stood up as abruptly as he'd sat down, still not willing to look Guy in the face. "Oh, never mind." he said. "Let's get out of here, eh? Go to the pub and get, umm . . . shit-faced!"
Oh bugger. Jon swore. This is not fucking good. Don't you dare laugh, you cunt. "Uh uh. No shit-faced- not yet. C'mere and sit down again- please?" Guy patted the space next to him.
Jon shook his head, but did as asked, eventually. He scuffed his feet on the carpet a few times, glanced toward the door with something akin to longing in his eyes, but he sat. "Should just get that over with, too!" he said. "Let them laugh at me some more and be done with it."
"Jon- I'm not laughing at you. I haven't laughed at you once. This is serious to you, so it's serious to me. C'mon now- say what you were gonna say. What did you want?" Guy said gently, reaching for Jon's hand and giving it a squeeze.
"No, but everyone else will!" Jon realized belatedly how childish that sounded. "Sorry. Just . . ." He folded his hand over the top of Guy's and finally looked right at him, his expression wistful. "I wanted you to . . . Or Jude. But you're busy and he's not here and . . . Oh Guy, I am so tired of waiting!" The tears threatened again and to hide them, he buried his head in the curve of Guy's shoulder.
Guy wrapped his arms around Jon, rubbing his back soothingly. "Jon, I know I've been busy. And I'm sorry about that. But you're my friend, and there is no way I wouldn't make time for something like this for you. And Jude, yeah he's been gone. But he'll be back soon- anytime now, I'm sure. And however you want to do this, I can guarantee you that either of us would be more then happy to be there for you."
"I’m just so . . ." Jon folded into the gentle touch. "It's just become such an event in my mind, I can't seem to think about anything else!" he complained. "It was getting to the point where I didn't care about special anymore. I'm sorry." He let out a breath in a huff, blowing a stray strand of fringe from his nose.
"Well, it was this big huge thing you were never gonna do, and now it's this thing that you are gonna do, but you still haven't done it, so it's hanging over your shoulders. Because, until you have sex, you've not moved past the vow really, have you? Not completely. So, you're putting a lot on this one moment, and once it's passed, you can move on with the next phase of your life." Guy theorized, not entirely sure he wasn't just fishing something out of his arse here.
"You're right." Jon nodded, nuzzling further into the side of Guy's throat and inhaling his scent happily. "It's just looming over me and I became too anxious about it. I'll try harder, honestly. I'll . . . dial it back." He kissed the soft spot behind Guy's ear, smiling with pleasure at remembering the vernacular.
"Good. But don't try harder- lord, the last thing you need to do is put more effort into this. Just relax. You want me, we can do that. You want Jude, he'd be there. There doesn't have to be any panic or drama or rush. Okay?"
"Okay." Jon shifted in a tad closer, his fingers kneading gently at Guy's upper thigh.
Guy's eyes drifted down to the fingers on his thigh, then back up again to Jon's face. "Jon... this has been a bit of an intense afternoon I think. Lot of emotion type things on both sides... y'ever hear of makeup sex? I'm thinkin' we don't combine that with first time sex. So what say we go have a beer or five- maybe only two for you- and we can just ... relax. How's that sound?"
"Okay."
"Okay." A few moments went by while Guy waited. "Jon... I can't get up if you're still lickin' my ear and pawing at my thigh, mate."
"Oka . . . What? I mean, pardon?" Jon straightened up, realized what he'd been doing and flushed. But he managed a grin and a rueful, "See?" before he got to his feet.
"There ya go. So- shit-faced?"
"Oh! Yes. Shit-faced. Right. Let's." Crisis over, Jon was enthused by the idea of some time in Guy's company, something he'd not had much of lately. He almost raced to the door, stopping with his fingers wrapped around the handle to say in an earnest fashion, "I'll wait. For you and Jude, yes? And I promise not to stress about it. At least, I'll try."
"Okay then. We wait, and we try not to stress." For me and Jude- does he mean he wants... DAMN! Religious doesn't go halfway, does he Guy thought to himself, shaking his head and smiling as they walked out the door.
